Scripture
“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.”
1 PETER 3:15-16
“Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.”
PROVERBS 3:3
Quotes/Color
“Always show more kindness than seems necessary because the person receiving it needs it more than you will ever know.”
Colin Powell
Context
When I worked at First Woodway, Josh McDowell, a leading Christian apologist, came and spoke at our youth camp one year. He was an awesome speaker and had a great way of making apologetics (the defense of the Christian faith) fun and engaging for our high school students. One of my favorite ways he did so was leading an activity where he acted (key word “acted”) like not an apologist, but an atheist and invited Christian students to engage in a debate/discussion with him. McDowell had studied many atheist rebuttals to the Christian faith and was, as an act, very well prepared to shoot down justifications for the existence of God. His little game was to ask students (Christians) to engage with him (the “atheist”), defend their faith, see what they would say and see how they respond.
To effectively transform from Apologist Josh to Atheist Josh for this game, he took a page out of one of the best disguises of identity of all time… Superman. Just like Superman putting on his glasses magically turned him into Clark Kent… So too did glasses magically turn Apologist Josh into “Atheist Josh.”
“See this pair of glasses?” Josh said, holding up a pair of thick rimmed, intellectual looking glasses. “When I am wearing these glasses… I am no longer here to ‘teach you about apologetics.’ When I put on these glasses, I magically transform into an intellectual atheist who wants to debate you. When I put on these glasses, I may act differently than you’ve seen so far. I may challenge you. I may even be a bit brash. But hey, you guys are at youth camp right? You know your stuff! So let’s see how good you are at talking to an atheist. Let’s see if you can ‘make me a Christian!’”
Keep in mind, these are just high school kids, so let’s give them the benefit of the doubt… That being said, Josh turned around, put on his glasses, returned to the crowd and started taking questions from our high schoolers.
- “If you say God isn’t real… then how can you explain our calendar being based on Jesus’ death? BC and AD?”
- “If you say God isn’t real… then how can you explain how beautiful the world is? Doesn’t it look like there was someone who designed it?”
Innocent at first. And good questions for our high schoolers.
But with each question that came “Atheist Josh’s” way, he had a polished, well-prepared response. Giving a succinct rebuttal picking apart their defense and of course always punctuating his smooth response with an insult of their intelligence or two for good measure.
Atheist Josh would finish off an answer with, “… And honestly, if you believe anything you’re saying right now, I question your ability to think at all. Religion ignores logic and science, and you’re an example of that.”
With this, as the back and forth carried on and got more intense, the crowd of students had had enough. The conversation had fully devolved from a defense of faith to a competition on who could get a good jab in on “Atheist Josh.”
With that, one student had finally heard enough… After a few minutes of back and forth he grabbed the mike and shouted out to Atheist Josh, “You don’t believe in anything! You just believe in not believing stuff! THAT makes no sense. What YOU’RE saying makes no sense. Maybe you are the dumb one!”
The reaction?
… Immediate applause from the entire crowd.
Hooping and hollering. Cheers. Someone had finally stood up to this monster and served him up what he was due.
But then? I’ll never forget what happened next…
Atheist Josh let the crowd settle into a silence. And then he slowly took his glasses off.
“So that’s how you’re going to talk to someone who doesn’t know God?”
More silence… Ouch.
Then he shared 1 Peter 3:15-16.
“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. BUT DO THIS WITH… GENTLENESS AND RESPECT… keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.”
Application
Why is it that we (at times) see the non-believer as an adversary and respond in defensiveness? While Jesus sees the non-believer as a lost sheep without a shepherd in need of compassion and gentle guidance (Mark 6:34)?
1 Peter 3:15-16 is apologetics in a nutshell. And teaches us a few things.
If you abandon kindness, you abandon a good outcome
That sentiment – sticking it to someone who opposes your position religiously, politically, in family matters – it certainly feels good in the moment. But it will never serve the purpose you aim to achieve.
If your heart’s first response is not kindness, you might not be prepared
Is it possible that you feel defensive in your heart because you have been caught on your heels? And feel vulnerable? Defensive people feel they are under attack. Compassionate people feel they have an opportunity to help.
Gentleness and Reverence might be as important or more important than your response
Look at the last part of this passage… “so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” What is this speaking to? It’s speaking to how the non-believer feels leaving a conversation with you. Do they remember your kindness, and the heaviness that may come with that? Remembering a quiet, kind confidence that challenged their world beliefs? Or do they remember your insistence in wanting to come out on top?
Something to Chew On:
- Where have you traded kindness for a good jab in the name of coming out on top? How did that turn out?
- Are you responding defensively to challenges? Is it possible that it is rooted in insecurity and lack of preparedness/diligence?
- Look at others as sheep that need a shepherd today, not adversaries.
GreatValue Proverb:
Nothing else matters if you abandon kindness